lets stitch the memories back ;

>> Wednesday, December 07, 2005

))

chicken little+crystal jade+perhaps.love+crying and sobbing from the movie till e mrt till the bus till i was safe back in my room to start bawling.
i am such a nutcase.

i'm sorry if what i'm asking for is too much.
i'm sorry if maybe, i've turned not quite the girl you thought i was.
i'm sorry if i was being just plain selfish.
i hate saying sorry because i know i'll end up doing something and i have to say it again, and render the sorrys that i've said before pretty meaningless.
damn i hate myself.

"but i do love you...and i'm sorry if i made you feel like you had to earn it."

this line's from chicken little (surprise!)
which was really really hilarious by the way.
perhaps.love was good, artsy fartsy(?) i guess.
the parallels and juxtapositions of reality and film were very apt, very cool, wayyy poignant.
that coupled with takeshi and his deep, sad eyes= WOAH.
i guess the show kind of triggered off the "omigodsomanydeepthoughtslinkingwitheachother" mechanism in me.
not that it needs much to be triggered off anyway.
and i'm such a hopelesshopelesshopeless, i repeat, hopeless sapbag.

letting go-
the way we lapse into free fall, breaking, oozing, staining. (quite literally sometimes)
or, we get the long-hoped-for release.

love-
hate/indifference.
now, which is better?
someone told me before, that hate is closer to love than indifference.
but is it really?

can you ever bring yourself to hate a person you've loved, the one who was, and maybe still is the most important person in your life?
yet sometimes it seems so so easy to hate that someone.
or do you become benumbed...and indifference sets in?
like the way the two of you are.

i am not making any sense at all now am i?
fish.
where are you yiqing my panadol?
please come back from down under really soon.
i want to crawl into a hole and die.

i'm so affected and intrigued by her its turning into an unhealthy obsession.

was it meant to be something better or is it travesty in disguise?

maybe my memory is flawed;you aren't you after all.

btw, happy one year to xinyue&me :)

edit-

its abt 130 now and i'm continuing my re-watching of oc2
hurray for mischa barton.
i cant wait to re watch oc1 and get oc3 and full house and my time traveller's wife back.
that way i wouldnt have to mope mope mope.

11:00 PM;